All Hail Our Glorious Leader, King George II
Kevin Agnese
Issue date: 4/5/06 Section: The Triangle
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Plus, I've waited my whole life to see the Mets win it all; I can't remember '86, and I think I deserve it. So, I contacted the devil (1-900-06-Devil), and he graciously obliged to the agreement. He told me that I would immediately lose my soul, but I wasn't that concerned. Well, that's my story. I signed a contract with the devil, and my soul has just left me. That reminds me, isn't President George W. Bush just the greatest guy ever? Watch out Mother Teresa, you got King George right on your heels!
Those of you who have read my previous columns may be taken aback with what I just said. I haven't exactly been the most hardcore Bush supporter, but come on, people. This Jesus-like figure has done so much for our nation and this world.
I mean just look at Iraq. Does freedom ring a bell? How about democracy? That whole preemptive invasion was clearly worth it. We have found so many weapons of mass destruction, along with immeasurable evidence linking Saddam Hussein to al-Qaeda and 9/11. Some have accused the president of lying about the war. They say his lies have led to 2,316 American deaths in Iraq, according to the Department of Defense as of March 28. But I say, what lies? We have collected so many weapons, and let's not forget about that picture of Saddam and Osama playing basketball. Thank you so much for leading us to victory in Iraq, Mr. President.
Our courageous leader presided over the largest domestic terrorist attack ever in the history of our country, but he promised to get the man who did it to us "dead or alive." Boy, did he keep his promise or what? Sure, he may have been on vacation for a month before the attack, but we all need our summer break. And, really, what are you supposed to do about a memo that reads, "bin Laden determined to attack inside the United States?" Act on it? Let's not go crazy.